Orbifold (orbifold) wrote,

I have found the motherlode of cheese

A couple of months ago, I stumbled upon a bunch of Doc Savage paperbacks in a second-hand store in Gravenhurst and bought one on a whim: "The Man of Bronze". I only just now got around to reading it.

Oh. My. God.

It is like the purest essence of fanfiction, distilled and injected straight into the WTF-lobe of the brain.

Doc Savage! World-travelling polymath genius super-strong bronze-skinned two-fisted fightin' surgeon, friend of world leaders, admired by men, loved by women, righter of wrongs and helper of the helpless!

Doc Savage! With his companions, five world-class fighting army men, each a genius in their own field, each the second-greatest in the world! All surpassed by Doc Savage of course, but Doc allows them to think they're the first to discover some things, for it's Doc's modesty which helps endear him to everyone he associates with! It says so on page 21.

Doc Savage! Who can weigh a bullet in his hand almost as accurately as a chemist's scale (page 14), who can understand and speak ancient Mayan (page 25), and who can hold his breath fully twice as long as the most expert pearl diver (page 119)!

Doc Savage! With his five male companions, travelling the world, having long ago made up his mind that women were to play no part in his career! (Page 79.) Whose shirtless torso so impresses male Mayan warriors that they "eyed Doc's bronze form in open wonder, marvelling at its perfection. [...] Doc's bared arms looked like those of an Atlas. The muscles, in repose, were not knotty. They were more like bundled piano wires on which a thin bronze skin had been painted. And across his chest and back great, supple cables of tendon lay layer upon layer. It was a rare sight, that body of Doc's. The Mayans' eyes popped." (Page 102, I swear.)

Doc Savage! Who, on page 48, punches a shark.

Best fifty cents I ever spent.
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