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I have found the motherlode of cheese

Posted on December 6th, 2010 at 9:56 pm
A couple of months ago, I stumbled upon a bunch of Doc Savage paperbacks in a second-hand store in Gravenhurst and bought one on a whim: "The Man of Bronze". I only just now got around to reading it.

Oh. My. God.

It is like the purest essence of fanfiction, distilled and injected straight into the WTF-lobe of the brain.

Doc Savage! World-travelling polymath genius super-strong bronze-skinned two-fisted fightin' surgeon, friend of world leaders, admired by men, loved by women, righter of wrongs and helper of the helpless!

Doc Savage! With his companions, five world-class fighting army men, each a genius in their own field, each the second-greatest in the world! All surpassed by Doc Savage of course, but Doc allows them to think they're the first to discover some things, for it's Doc's modesty which helps endear him to everyone he associates with! It says so on page 21.

Doc Savage! Who can weigh a bullet in his hand almost as accurately as a chemist's scale (page 14), who can understand and speak ancient Mayan (page 25), and who can hold his breath fully twice as long as the most expert pearl diver (page 119)!

Doc Savage! With his five male companions, travelling the world, having long ago made up his mind that women were to play no part in his career! (Page 79.) Whose shirtless torso so impresses male Mayan warriors that they "eyed Doc's bronze form in open wonder, marvelling at its perfection. [...] Doc's bared arms looked like those of an Atlas. The muscles, in repose, were not knotty. They were more like bundled piano wires on which a thin bronze skin had been painted. And across his chest and back great, supple cables of tendon lay layer upon layer. It was a rare sight, that body of Doc's. The Mayans' eyes popped." (Page 102, I swear.)

Doc Savage! Who, on page 48, punches a shark.

Best fifty cents I ever spent.


orbifold at 2010-12-07 13:10 (UTC) (Link)
Oh yeah, that's the one.
Loki Carbis
lokicarbis at 2010-12-07 21:47 (UTC) (Link)
I think "punching the shark" should become the new phrase for the moment at which something unexpectedly becomes awesome :)
orbifold at 2010-12-07 22:58 (UTC) (Link)
In that respect, "The Man of Bronze" definitely peaked too early.
Mr Ben
mrben at 2010-12-07 22:43 (UTC) (Link)
There's apparently a movie version. Do you think it could live up to the book?
orbifold at 2010-12-07 23:03 (UTC) (Link)
Not a chance in hell. No one would ever have the sheer balls to cheese it up to the book's level with a straight face. They'd either try to wink and nudge their way through it, or tone it down; you'd end up with either a lame action-comedy or a mediocre straight-up action film.
nanobynight at 2010-12-08 11:29 (UTC) (Link)
I am sensing some mandatory crit group reading...
orbifold at 2010-12-09 00:03 (UTC) (Link)
Do it! Do it!
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